3rd XI Vs Chelmsford 3rd XI

And with one bound, the third team supermen leapt off the bottom of the table. Oh yes, there's no stopping them now. 

While England were beating Australia at Cardiff on Saturday, an equally improbable victory against a supposedly superior team wearing green caps was being completed on the OCG back pitch. Not many would have given Brentwood a chance before the start - reigning champions Chelmsford had won seven of their eight completed games while Brentwood's underperformers had managed a solitary success - but the home side showed that recent improvements were no false dawn as they defied the odds thanks to a disciplined display in the field.  

Captain Sonny Willis, promoting 'a new brand of cricket' which involves the use of the terms 'brand' and 'team identity' at least four times at every team huddle, was adamant he wanted to bat second, despite the reservations of some senior members of the side (Bainbridge) who felt bagging eight batting points against this particular opposition might be the wiser option. The decision was taken out of his hands when he lost the toss and Chelmsford chose to field. Willis gave up his regular opening slot to David Smith, a decision due to circumstance rather than generosity as Willis's kit was in his car, the keys for which had been locked behind the bar overnight after the Lashings event. An emergency call had gone out to bar manager Roger, who maybe did not appreciate the urgency of the situation as he responded by saying he would maybe arrive about 1pm after a trip to 'the warehouse'.  

So it was that Smith sauntered to the crease with Jack Payne, backed by the good wishes of team-mates who supposed that 250 was a minimum target on a baking hot day which had turned the outfield the kind of greeny brown reminiscent of the Oval in the 1970s when Gordon Greenidge clattered countless centuries for West Indies.  

When Brentwood were 21 for three a few overs later, there was no sign of a Greenidge and the omens seemed bleak. Payne had chipped up to square leg, Smith had edged to gulley and Willis had feathered one behind. Thankfully, old stagers Nigel Bacon and Richard Walford got their heads down and set about recovering the situation.

Chelmsford's opening attack was accurate. A pacy bowler, Thompson, from the bottom end. A medium pacer, Fergus, from the road end, taking advantage of a slight ridge which caused the odd ball to rear. Maybe they should have switched ends when the ridge became evident? Bacon, fresh from coaching sessions from Peter Younghusband (hopefully there was a bit of fielding tuition involved, too) played the dominant role, swinging his bat lustily when offered any width. The thick edge down to the third-man boundary was a particularly productive shot. You could say Bacon was slightly streaky (copywrite Damian Muncaster, 2007), but there was nothing lucky about the straight six he smacked off the young leg-spinner. Bacon, in fact, was looking in ominous form when caught behind, cruelly four runs short of what would have been a well-earned fifty. Still, he had helped put on a 60-run fourth-wicket stand and Brentwood might have hoped to kick on towards their intended target.

Annoyingly, Chelmsford's change bowlers maintained a tight grip. Dan Stone edged behind and Chris Boon Snr missed a straight one. Walford was still there however, inspired to great feats of concentration by an inner steel and determination ("Nothing personal, boys, but I don't want to be playing third-team cricket," had been his pre-match message). He had just passed his fifty when popping up a return catch to Fergus, leaving Brentwood struggling at 150 for seven. Jon Hilliard struck a couple of meaty blows over midwicket before being bowled trying to play a late cut (there's a lesson there, I think), and then an astounded Mick Payne was given out lbw first ball by his son Jack (jury, listen to the evidence and make your decision - Payne Snr: "No way was it out"; Payne Jnr: "It was so plum"). 

Last pair Cameron Maxwell and Peter Bainbridge swung and scampered to get the score past 175 and the innings ended at 186 for nine after 52 overs.

Chelmsford should have dined the more satisfied of the sides but stirred by another team branding session by Willis, Brentwood took the field in positive mood. Hilliard opened the bowling and proceeded to make a single-handed attempt to win the game. Looking taller than ever, reminiscent in fact of Joel Garner but without quite as white a smile, Hilliard pinned the batsmen down with a delicious line and length which made the most of the slight ridge from the road end.

Both openers fell early to his penetrating attack, Keaney to a brilliant instinctive catch at short extra cover from Walford, who immediately looked over to the second-team pitch to see whether Graeme Walker was watching. Bainbridge was not having quite as productive a time from the other end and when asked by Willis for advice suggested bringing Hilliard on from both ends. Bainbridge, he is shamed to admit, did lose his temper as several edges flew wide of the slip cordon and managed to severely bruise his toe with an immature half-volley of the ball back at the fortuitous No4 batsman. However, after a frustrating third-wicket stand, he eventually got his reward and Big Bird Hilliard then dismissed the other danger man to leave Chelmsford 80 for four and the game in the balance.

A couple of inspirational bowling changes from Willis then brought wickets in their first overs for Jack Payne and Cameron Maxwell. Payne seemed non-plussed by bagging the wicket of the dangerous Tom Iliffe with a full toss, but as the great Tony Prior always said, full bungers are the most dangerous balls in third-team cricket. The final 20 overs arrived with the score at 106 for six - 81 runs needed by the all-conquering Chelmsford, four wickets by the sleeping giants of Brentwood. Away skipper James Arnold looked quite comfortable and in partnership with youngster Harry Green threatened to see his side home, taking the score to 135 before another inspired bowling change turned the game. Payne snr, bristling not only about his lbw but by the fact his son had been brought on to bowl before him, showed who the daddy was by drawing Arnold forward and inducing an edge that was well taken by the standing-up Stone.

Boon had been bowling well from the other end without luck but, with Walford moved in at short leg to snarl at Green from under the lid, the youngster lost his cool and hoiked one high to square leg where Smith took a fine catch at the second attempt. Two wickets to get, Chelmsford still going for the runs knowing that Brentwood would hardly be a threat at the top of the league if they ended up with the full 25 points. Payne in again, the useful-looking Thompson miscues to short extra where Willis dives low to take another excellent catch.

Six overs to go - just a matter of whether Brentwood can snare the last wicket, first teamers on the boundary edge willing it to happen so that the chairman is divested of another club jug. Have no fears, Payne is here - another tossed-up away swinger (aren't they all?), No11 Fergus aims for midwicket, misses, the ball sends middle stump cartwheeling out of the ground (I could be wrong about that bit), joyous scenes all around.

A superb effort by Brentwood: gritty batting by Bacon and Walford, a superb new-ball spell by Hilliard, deadly bowling at the death by Payne, eight catches taken with no drops, polished display behind the stumps by Stone, astute captaincy from brand Willis. Onwards and upwards; next Saturday away at Hutton. There's no stopping the third-teamers now.   Report by Peter Bainbridge